I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
