Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
