he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
