He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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