Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
