Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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