i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
