Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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