so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Couch. On fire.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
