don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
