rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
