So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
