I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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