someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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