Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
