is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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