just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
