Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
