chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
