I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
