you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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