I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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