no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
