Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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