I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
