Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
