This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
