Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
nutella sex= disaster
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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