I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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