one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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