how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
