i barfeds in our rink
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
