Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
