so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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