none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
