question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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