Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
