it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
