I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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