I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
