oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
