how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
