and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
