There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
