I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
