We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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