he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
