I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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