Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
