All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
