Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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