Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
